A Jewish mother walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten.
"Behave, my Bubaleh. Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, Tataleh! Come right back home, Schein Kindaleh. Your Mommy loves you, my Ketsaleh!" At the end of the day she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my Pupaleh learn on his first day of school?"
The boy answers, "I learned that my name is Jerry."
Monday, July 26, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
WORLD WANDERER: Tokyo Must List
A recent spat of pings on things to do in Tokyo (and broader Japan) prompted this. Having traveled back and forth to Japan for more than a decade and lived there for three years, my list might be jaded. So use your own spirit of intuition and adventure!
1. The Basement at Takeshima Department Store (Shinjuku): If you don't believe that a perfect portion of gelato in a cone can be gift-wrapped, visit the Chika (basement) of Takeshima. It's the Disney World of food where the visual and olfactory experience sets you on a whimsical tour of tasty treats.
2. Tsukiji Market: Anything that has ever lived in the sea finds its way to Tsukiji. Take advantage of jet-lag and hit the tuna auction around 4:30 AM!
3. Uniqlo & Muji: "Unique Clothing" Co., where you can score hipster flannels and designer t-shirts for about $10. Locations all over Tokyo. Muji: minimalist, cool, oh-so Japanese.
4. Ramen bars: Heaven in a bowl. Rich broth based in soy, pork or chicken is laddled over hand crafted noodles for one of Life's most slurpy dreams. Use the powers of Search to find "yummy ramen" + "near my hotel". Recommendations: Jangara Ramen in Harujuku, Ichiran in Roppongi, Ippudo in Ebisu.
5. Tokyo Giants game: Feel the fanaticism of 10's of thousands of energized fans. Bring ear plugs if you are not cheerful or into baseball!
6. Studio Ghibli Museum: Home of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away/Sento chi Hiro, and dozens of other films by the Animation master Miyazaki. Creative energy and beauty for ages four to 104!
7. Gear, Gizmos and Gadgets: Invest a morning or afternoon in a trip to Akihabara to take in all of the uber cool electronics that are the pulse of the Tokyo lifestyle.
8. National Museum: See the original woodblock print masters Hokusai and Hiroshige + wonders of the Imperial collection. "Hanga" (hanging dreams art) will inspire ideas about why Japan makes some of the coolest video games ever!
9. Starbucks: Experience a global favorite with a Japanese twist; super polite customer service. "Sho-to ca-pu-CHINO de-su!"
10. Ride the train; if you have time, take a bullet train to a hot springs town outside of Tokyo for a night. Nagano and Niigata Prefectures are great!
1. The Basement at Takeshima Department Store (Shinjuku): If you don't believe that a perfect portion of gelato in a cone can be gift-wrapped, visit the Chika (basement) of Takeshima. It's the Disney World of food where the visual and olfactory experience sets you on a whimsical tour of tasty treats.
2. Tsukiji Market: Anything that has ever lived in the sea finds its way to Tsukiji. Take advantage of jet-lag and hit the tuna auction around 4:30 AM!
3. Uniqlo & Muji: "Unique Clothing" Co., where you can score hipster flannels and designer t-shirts for about $10. Locations all over Tokyo. Muji: minimalist, cool, oh-so Japanese.
4. Ramen bars: Heaven in a bowl. Rich broth based in soy, pork or chicken is laddled over hand crafted noodles for one of Life's most slurpy dreams. Use the powers of Search to find "yummy ramen" + "near my hotel". Recommendations: Jangara Ramen in Harujuku, Ichiran in Roppongi, Ippudo in Ebisu.
5. Tokyo Giants game: Feel the fanaticism of 10's of thousands of energized fans. Bring ear plugs if you are not cheerful or into baseball!
6. Studio Ghibli Museum: Home of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away/Sento chi Hiro, and dozens of other films by the Animation master Miyazaki. Creative energy and beauty for ages four to 104!
7. Gear, Gizmos and Gadgets: Invest a morning or afternoon in a trip to Akihabara to take in all of the uber cool electronics that are the pulse of the Tokyo lifestyle.
8. National Museum: See the original woodblock print masters Hokusai and Hiroshige + wonders of the Imperial collection. "Hanga" (hanging dreams art) will inspire ideas about why Japan makes some of the coolest video games ever!
9. Starbucks: Experience a global favorite with a Japanese twist; super polite customer service. "Sho-to ca-pu-CHINO de-su!"
10. Ride the train; if you have time, take a bullet train to a hot springs town outside of Tokyo for a night. Nagano and Niigata Prefectures are great!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
A Good Joke from the desk of Uncle Bernard Katz
An old Chicago gangster dies, and he drifts down to the underworld.
When he arrives, the Devil welcomes him and shows him around.
"You know," comments the Dark One, "it gets pretty hot down here."
"No problem," responds the gangster.
So the Devil turns up the heat, and gangster doesn't really seem to mind.
"It's just like Chicago," he quips.
The Devil is flummoxed, and cranks it up several notches.
"Still very pleasant," notes the gangster. "Just like Chicago."
Flustered by all of this, the Devil tries something different. He turns the heat OFF, and it becomes dreadfully cold, literally freezing the whole place over.
"How do you like it NOW?" chortles the Devil.
"Do I like it?" counters the gangster. " I don't like it. I LOVE it! The Cubs have won the World Series!!!"
When he arrives, the Devil welcomes him and shows him around.
"You know," comments the Dark One, "it gets pretty hot down here."
"No problem," responds the gangster.
So the Devil turns up the heat, and gangster doesn't really seem to mind.
"It's just like Chicago," he quips.
The Devil is flummoxed, and cranks it up several notches.
"Still very pleasant," notes the gangster. "Just like Chicago."
Flustered by all of this, the Devil tries something different. He turns the heat OFF, and it becomes dreadfully cold, literally freezing the whole place over.
"How do you like it NOW?" chortles the Devil.
"Do I like it?" counters the gangster. " I don't like it. I LOVE it! The Cubs have won the World Series!!!"
Monday, July 12, 2010
"Grandmother" (sung to the tune of "Popular")
For Lindy’s Birthday!
“GRANDMOTHER” by Emma, Megumu and Adam Brownstein
(adapted to the song “Popular” from Wicked)
(adapted to the song “Popular” from Wicked)
When you go to Torah Study with Rabbi Janet and Neill,
It’s time to count your blessings and how wonderful you feel,
With Footprint, family and all that jazz,
And when your family needs you,
There is nothing that you won’t do,
You feel so lucky to have all that you have
But until now you’ve missed out,
On something your friends know all about
Don’t worry, that’s all about to be
Different you see,
Be-cause you’re going to be . . .
A GRANDMOTHER!
You’re gonna be a GRANDMOTHER!
Kvelling nachus, ooh!
“I’ll take one, no, TWO!”
Little girls to hold and sooth. . .
You spoil them with stuff,
(Adam) it took long enough!
But now you don’t need to be blue
Cuz’ you’re a GRANDMOTHER!
Yes, you’re a GRANDMOTHER!
You’ll lead family trips,
Teach them piano tricks,
Neill, upload the pho-tooooOOs!
So let's start,
‘Cuz we’ve got a lot of people to show!
Cuz’ you’re a GRANDMOTHER!
Yes, you’re a GRANDMOTHER!
You’ll lead family trips,
Teach them piano tricks,
Neill, upload the pho-tooooOOs!
So let's start,
‘Cuz we’ve got a lot of people to show!
Don’t be offended by the term “Granny”,
If you prefer, we can call you “Nanny”,
Now that we’ve supplied you with the next generation,
There's no hesitation,
To proclaim yourself . . .
GRANDMOTHER,
A full-fledged GRANDMOTHER
with an assist from Emma-ruu,
and her cousin too,
What fun, oh Boy!
with an assist from Emma-ruu,
and her cousin too,
What fun, oh Boy!
(you mean “girls!”)
Nothing’s gonna’ stop you from
being the hippest Nanny in the world!
la la, la la!
We’re gonna make you a grand-mo-ther
When you see you all your friends,
Nothing’s gonna’ stop you from
being the hippest Nanny in the world!
la la, la la!
We’re gonna make you a grand-mo-ther
When you see you all your friends,
Coddling their grandchildren,
You can inform them on your own
They have . . . to. . . wish . . . you
They have . . . to. . . wish . . . you
Mazel tov, congratulations!
They’ll feel your elation!
Time for birthday celebrations.
YOU CAN SAY IT AGAIN. . .
You are a GRANDMOTHER!
Bubbe!
Yes, you are a GRANDMOTHER!
You’ll take them to Broadway plays,
And on sunny days
. . . play with them at the beach!
Now that you’re a Nanny,
All of this is within reach!
And as time goes on,
And we sing this song,
It’s no secret you see,
You're gonna really love it,
Your new found NANNY-larity!
Yea!
La la, la la!
You’re a GRANDMOTHER,
What a cool family!
YOU CAN SAY IT AGAIN. . .
You are a GRANDMOTHER!
Bubbe!
Yes, you are a GRANDMOTHER!
You’ll take them to Broadway plays,
And on sunny days
. . . play with them at the beach!
Now that you’re a Nanny,
All of this is within reach!
And as time goes on,
And we sing this song,
It’s no secret you see,
You're gonna really love it,
Your new found NANNY-larity!
Yea!
La la, la la!
You’re a GRANDMOTHER,
What a cool family!
Monday, July 5, 2010
THE CONSTANT GARDENER: July 4th Edition
There is an storied expression in the lore of Seattle Green Thumbs; summer begins in earnest on the 5th of July.
True to form, we enjoyed inclement weather that clutched at the mid-60's on both Saturday and Sunday. I expect that the Fireworks Co. needed extra efforts to keep the powder dry for the show above Lake Union on Sunday evening.
On KIBBUTZ Ha'EMMA, we have noticed that our TOMATOES have crossed over into a mild red hue. Although our plants are behind the 2009 Season in terms of color, the indeterminate are yielding more cherries. Particularly supice and black cherry varietals are in good form. The ARUGULA continues an uphill battle, while our KALE and CHARD continue to flourish.
I inquired about the arugula with a nice set of MASTER GARDENERS @ the U DISTRICT SATURDAY MARKET. Apparently, according to the nice lade in a gardening smock, arugula needs heat. OK. I get it now.
MORE ON THE MARKET: Strawberries have seeded their lone standing as the star of the early season to RASPBERRIES. I secured a 1/2 flat at market rates of $18.00, and Megumu and I have been snacking on them hour for hour. Also, we are beginning to enjoy STONE FRUITS, bringing home the FIRST OF THE SEASON PEACHES.
OT/OC-Index: TOMATOES are pricing out at $5.49/lb for firsts and $2.49 for seconds. Organic bings are going for $4.99, and rainiers for $5.99.
True to form, we enjoyed inclement weather that clutched at the mid-60's on both Saturday and Sunday. I expect that the Fireworks Co. needed extra efforts to keep the powder dry for the show above Lake Union on Sunday evening.
On KIBBUTZ Ha'EMMA, we have noticed that our TOMATOES have crossed over into a mild red hue. Although our plants are behind the 2009 Season in terms of color, the indeterminate are yielding more cherries. Particularly supice and black cherry varietals are in good form. The ARUGULA continues an uphill battle, while our KALE and CHARD continue to flourish.
I inquired about the arugula with a nice set of MASTER GARDENERS @ the U DISTRICT SATURDAY MARKET. Apparently, according to the nice lade in a gardening smock, arugula needs heat. OK. I get it now.
MORE ON THE MARKET: Strawberries have seeded their lone standing as the star of the early season to RASPBERRIES. I secured a 1/2 flat at market rates of $18.00, and Megumu and I have been snacking on them hour for hour. Also, we are beginning to enjoy STONE FRUITS, bringing home the FIRST OF THE SEASON PEACHES.
OT/OC-Index: TOMATOES are pricing out at $5.49/lb for firsts and $2.49 for seconds. Organic bings are going for $4.99, and rainiers for $5.99.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
HAIKU OF THE WEEK: Parental Theme
By Eric Bader. . .
The mother sparrow
brings home some worms for her young
"Force yourself!" she chirps
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